remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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