it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
