Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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