Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
