I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
