I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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