I'm so fucking centered right now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he thought i was a dude.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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