sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
