of course. lets lasso hookers.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
