Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
