Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
These tits shall not be calmed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
