ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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