Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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