Where did you get a picture of my penis
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
