All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I didn't notice because vodka
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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