Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
