so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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