I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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