If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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