he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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