I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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