hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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