come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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