i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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