I got chris browned last night
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
