DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
