Where did you get a picture of my penis
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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