she woke up with a sticky ear
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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