how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
