at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
