we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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