Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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