Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
