is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
