new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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