why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
In America we eat man semen.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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