she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
