Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
then he tried to convert me to islam
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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