Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is Oprah even human
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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