exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
