absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
