New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
