Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
