I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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