Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
