I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
