sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
