We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
