He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
