I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
